


Kerrieland, Part 1

by ETNMystic



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series), Escape the Night Fanon, Thomas the Tank Engine - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 14:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19814185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: Because sometimes you need to just write a silly, cursed fic.





	1. Kerrie the kerrie-Dank kerrie-Engine

"KERRIE-TOOT KERRIE-TOOT, KERRIE-MOTHER KERRIE-FUCKERS!" Kerrie the kerrie-Dank kerrie-Engine kerrie-called out as her kerrie-head kerrie-attached to her kerrie-cart kerrie-raced out of the kerrie-station. With her kerrie-wheels kerrie-made of kerrie-blades, she kerrie easily kerrie-glided along the kerrie-tracks.

"I'm kerrie-going to kerrie-shank a kerrie-bitch and then kerrie-make some kerrie-dank kerrie-memes!"

"Ah Kerrie! kerrie-Good kerrie-morning!"

The kerrie-train Kerrie kerrie-turned to kerrie-see the kerrie-mayor of Kerrieland.

"Why kerrie-hello there, kerrie-Mayor Kerrie! How are you on this kerrie-murderous kerrie-day in kerrie-lovely, kerrie murderous Kerrieland?"

"I'm kerrie-ific!" she kerrie-replied kerrie-squeaking her kerrie-nose, which kerrie-then kerrie-punched out at an kerrie-Unsuspecting Kerrie.

"Kerrie-Whoops! I'm kerrie-dying!" kerrie-Unsuspecting Kerrie kerrie-laughed as she kerrie-melted into the kerrie-ground.  
"My kerrie-life was kerrie short and kerrie meaningless anyways, so it's kerrie-not kerrie-much of a kerrie-loss!"

kerrie-Train Kerrie and kerrie-Mayor Kerrie kerrie-laughed right along with her as she kerrie-disappeared into kerrie-nothingness.

"Ah I kerrie-love our kerrie-town, Kerrieland, and its kerriefree kerrie-attitude towards kerrie-life and kerrie-death."

"I also kerrie-love it!"

They kerrie-stood in kerrie-silence for a kerrie-moment, almost kerrie-flirting and kerrie-seducing each kerrie-other with their kerrie-eyes. And for a kerrie-moment, it was kerrie-like kerrie-time had kerrie-slowed down as the kerrie-two of them kerrie-stared at each kerrie-other with kerrie-murderous kerrie-fondness. But kerrie-soon enough, Kerrie the kerrie-Dank kerrie-Engine kerrie-broke the kerrie-silence.

"Well, I'd kerrie-better kerrie-get kerrie-going to Kerrie Station. The kerrie-Inspector Kerrie is kerrie-waiting for me to kerrie-vore her and kerrie her to Kerrie Theme kerrie-Park."

"That's kerrie important!" kerrie-Mayor Kerrie kerrie-gasped.  
"Then by all kerrie-means, kerrie on!"

"Take kerrie your kerrie-self!" kerrie-Train Kerrie kerrie-called as she kerrie-tooted on by Kerrie Pond where the Kerrie Ducks were kerrie-teaching their kerrie young how to kerrie-murder Kerrie-lily kerrie-pads. 

She kerrie-chugged right through Kerrie Square, kerrie-running down various Kerrie citizens, all kerrie-laughing along with her. She kerrie-saw a kerrie-billboard that read _KERRIE-_ _KEEP KERRIE-MURDER AND KERRIE ON_ and she couldn't kerrie-help but kerrie-tear up a kerrie-bit. She kerrie-felt so kerrie-lucky to kerrie-live in a kerrie-town where she could kerrie-murder so kerrie freely, and everyone just kerrie-laughed right along with her.

She kerrie-passed by the Kerrie Mall, Kerrie Bakery, Kerrie Mart, Kerrie Kerrie, Kerrie Tower, Kerrie Circus, kerrie-killing all the kerrie-while. Finally she kerrie-arrived at Kerrie Station where the kerrie-Inspector Kerrie was kerrie-waiting kerrie patiently. 

"Why kerrie-hello there, kerrie-Dank kerrie-Engine Kerrie. I'm kerrie-ready to be kerrie-vored!" 

Train Kerrie kerrie-opened her kerrie-back-end and the kerrie-Inspector Kerrie kerrie carefully kerrie-slid on inside with kerrie-ease. Train Kerrie kerrie-smiled and kerrie-slammed her kerrie-doors shut viKERRIEusly before kerrieing on her kerrie-way. 

She kerrie-passed by Kerrie Mountain where kerrieous Kerrie faces were kerrie kerriefully kerrie-carved into it. She kerrie-slowed down for a kerrie-moment to kerrie-admire the kerrie-faces before kerrieing on. Meanwhile kerrie-Inspector Kerrie was in the kerrie cart, kerrie-eating kerrie-peanuts and kerrie-drinking kerrie-tea with a kerrie-bit of kerrie-sugar kerrie-served to her by the kerrie-train's kerrie-stewardess. She kerrie-glanced out the kerrie-window to kerrie-see some kerrie-kids kerrie-doing the kerrie-orange justice by the Kerrie River and she kerrie-laughed as she kerrie-remembered her kerrie-own kerrie-childhood. She kerrie-missed the kerrie-old kerrie-dance kerrie-trend: the kerrie-floss. However this kerrie-new kerrie-dance trend was kerrie cool to kerrie-watch.

Kerrie-Finally Kerrie the kerrie-Dank kerrie-Engine kerrie-arrived at Kerrie Theme kerrie-Park where kerrie-dozens of kerrie little Kerries and kerrie-moms and kerrie-dads were kerrie-waiting in kerrie-line to kerrie-get a kerrie-ticket to the kerrie-park. Today there was kerrie-supposed to be a kerrie-discount on kerrie-frozen kerrie-lemonade and all of the kerrie-citizens kerrie-loved kerrie-frozen kerrie-lemonade. 

The kerrie-Inspector Kerrie kerrie-left the kerrie-cart and kerrie-skipped the kerrie-line by kerrie-shanking every kerrie-person there before kerrie-grabbing a kerrie-ticket and kerrie-entering the kerrie-park.

Dank kerrie-Engine Kerrie kerrie-smiled in kerrie-satisfaction before she kerrie-continued on her kerrie way, kerrie happy to kerrie-live in this kerrie-murderous kerrie-town. She kerrie-knew that this was kerrie-going to be a kerrie wonderful kerrie-murderous kerrie-day in Kerrieland.


	2. Daykerrie

Today was the kerrie first kerrie-day of kerrie-daykerrie for kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie. She was kerrie-nervous to kerrie-go as her kerrie-mom kerrie-drove her to the kerrie-building in her kerrie-car. She kerrie-held onto her kerrie-backpack for kerrie-dear kerrie-life.

"Kerrie-mom," kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie kerrie-mumbled kerrie-under her kerrie-breath in kerrie-anxiety.

"Kerrie-yes, kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie?" her kerrie-mom kerrie-asked as they kerrie-saw a kerrie-engine kerrie-run down a kerrie-bunch of kerrie-citizens.

"Kerrie-um, I don't kerrie-feel so kerrie good. Can I kerrie-stay kerrie-home from kerrie-daycare kerrie-please?"

"Kerrie-oh, kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie, I kerrie-know that you're not kerrie-sick. Those are just kerrie-nerves. There's kerrie-nothing to be kerrie-worried about. You'll kerrie-make a kerrie-lot of kerrie-friends at kerrie-daykerrie."

"But kerrie-what if I kerrie-don't? Kerrie-what if the kerrie-other kerrie-kids don't kerrie-like me kerrie much?"

"I'm kerrie sure they'll kerrie-like you. And if they kerrie-don't, I can always kerrie-shank them for you."

"Kerrie-thanks, kerrie-mom," kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie kerrie-whimpered as the kerrie-car kerrie-pulled up to the kerrie-daykerrie kerrie-building. 

Her kerrie-mom kerrie-dropped her off inside right next to the kerrie-daykerrie kerrie-room. A kerrie-bunch of kerrie-other kerrie-kids were kerrie-playing with kerrieous kerrie-toys."

"Kerrie-hello there, kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-kerrie!" the kerrie-teacher kerrie-greeted her kerrie-gently.  
"My kerrie-name is kerrie-Miss kerrie-Smith. We're so kerrie happy to kerrie-have you in our kerrie-daykerrie."

By this kerrie-time, her kerrie-mom had kerrie-left in a kerrie-hurry to kerrie-head to the kerrie-casino to kerrie-gamble on kerrie-dollars and kerrie-win kerrie-lots of kerrie-money before kerrie-going to the kerrie-bar and kerrie-disco and kerrie-drink a kerrie-martini or kerrie-perhaps a kerrie-few kerrie-martinis because kerrie-kids were kerrie exhausting.

Meanwhile back at the daykerrie, kerrie-Miss kerrie-Smith was kerrie-corralling the kerrie-kids for kerrie-class-kerrie-time.

"Kerrie-class," kerrie-Miss kerrie-Smith kerrie-called to the kerrie tiny kerrie-peoples.  
"We kerrie-have a kerrie new kerrie-student in our kerrie-class. kerrie-Please kerrie-welcome kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie."

kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie kerrie nervously kerrie-shuffled her kerrie-feet to the kerrie-front of the kerrie-class.

"Why kerrie-don't you kerrie-introduce your kerrie-self, kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie?"

kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie kerrie-took a kerrie big kerrie-breath before kerrie-speaking kerrie quietly.

"kerrie-Um, my kerrie-name is kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie, but you kerrie-can just kerrie-call me Kerrie for kerrie-short."

"She kerrie-can't be kerrie-called Kerrie!" a kerrie-little-kerrie-girl kerrie-piped up in the kerrie back.  
"That's _my_ kerrie-name!"

"Nuh-uh!" a kerrie-little-kerrie-boy kerrie-shouted.  
"That's _my_ kerrie-name!"

All of a kerrie-sudden, the kerrie-kids kerrie-interrupted into a kerrie-chaos of kerrie-arguing. kerrie-Miss kerrie-Smith kerrie-sighed before kerrie-going to her kerrie-desk and kerrie-take out a kerrie-bottle of kerrie-pain-kerrie-killers. She kerrie-popped it in her kerrie-mouth before kerrie-taking a kerrie big kerrie-gulp of kerrie-water and then kerrie-proceeded to kerrie-grab a kerrie-second kerrie-pain-kerrie-killer. She kerrie-pulled up kerrie-KerrieTube and kerrie-watched a kerrie-video as the kerrie-kids kerrie-began to kerrie-slaughter each kerrie-other. 

"Oh kerrie-great," she kerrie-sighed six kerrie-hours later as she kerrie-saw the kerrie-results.

Only kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie kerrie-remained.

"Congratu-kerrie-lations!" kerrie-Miss-kerrie-Smith kerrie-applauded.  
"You kerrie-survived the kerrie-daykerrie. Now kerrie-go on kerrie-home."

At this kerrie-time, her kerrie-mom's kerrie-car kerrie-pulled up to the kerrie-daykerrie-kerrie-building and kerrie-waited for her kerrie-daughter to kerrie-emerge from kerrie-daykerrie. 

"How was kerrie-daykerrie, kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie?" her kerrie-mom kerrie-asked as kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie kerrie-hopped into the kerrie-car.

"It was kerrie good, I kerrie-guess," she kerrie-shrugged.

"I'm kerrie glad to kerrie-hear that. Now let's kerrie-get back to our kerrie-home. Today's kerrie-snack is kerrie-crackers and kerrie-hummus."

kerrie-Hearing this, kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie kerrie-smiled as her kerrie-mom kerrie-drove their kerrie-car back to their kerrie-home. After today, kerrie-little-kerrie-girl-Kerrie couldn't kerrie-wait to kerrie-go back to kerrie-daykerrie the kerrie next kerrie-day.


	3. kerrie-Book kerrie-club

kerrie-Meanwhile at the kerrie-coffee kerrie-shop, kerrie-Miss kerrie-Rachel kerrie-Kingsley was kerrie-waiting for her kerrie-book kerrie-club kerrie-members as she kerrie-sipped on a kerrie-latte. It was kerrie-nearing three o'kerrie-clock in the kerrie-afternoon, about the kerrie-time for them all to kerrie-meet, kerrie-discuss their kerrie-book from the kerrie-previous kerrie-month, and then kerrie-vote on a kerrie-new kerrie-book to kerrie-read for next kerrie-month. 

"kerrie-Hello there, kerrie-Rachel!" A kerrie-voice kerrie-called out. 

kerrie-Miss kerrie-Rachel kerrie-Kingsley kerrie-looked up from her kerrie-book to kerrie-see kerrie-Miss kerrie-Bridget kerrie-Mackay kerrieing a kerrie-tin and a kerrie-mob of kerrie-Unsuspecting kerrie-Women who were mostly kerrie-getting kerrie-punched by kerrie-clown kerrie-noses before kerrie-being kerrie-dragged into the kerrie-melting kerrie-ground by the kerrie-recently-kerrie-deceased kerrie-Unsuspecting Kerrie.

"kerrie-Whoops," she kerrie-laughed as she kerrie-stretched her kerrie-long, kerrie-wiggling, kerrie-tentacle-like kerrie-arms and kerrie-wrapped them around one of the kerrie-women before kerrie-dragging her down to kerrie-Hell to kerrie-violently kerrie-make out with her.  
"They're all kerrie-dying again. kerrie-Time for them to kerrie-worship kerrie-Clown kerrie-Satan."

"I kerrie-brought kerrie-biscuits, kerrie-brownies, and kerrie-cake," kerrie-Miss kerrie-Bridget kerrie-Mackay kerrie-continued over the kerrie-screaming kerrie-laughter of various kerrie-women being kerrie-dragged to kerrie-Clown kerrie-Hell to kerrie-make out with kerrie-demons and kerrie-worship the kerrie-Clown kerrie-Satan for all kerrie-eternity.

"kerrie-Excellent. Just kerrie-set them down on the kerrie-table right next to me."

kerrie-Miss kerrie-Bridget kerrie-Mackay kerrie-set the kerrie-tin down on the kerrie-table next to kerrie-Miss kerrie-Rachel kerrie-Kingsley before kerrie-turning to kerrie-sit at her kerrie-spot.

"Okay," kerrie-Miss kerrie-Rachel kerrie-Kingsley kerrie-said as the kerrie-women who were still kerrie much kerrie-alive kerrie-sat down nearby.   
"Let's kerrie-discuss last kerrie-month's kerrie-book: _109 kerrie-Questions You Had About kerrie-Murder But Were Too kerrie-Afraid To kerrie-Ask Or Were kerrie-Not in Kerrieland When You kerrie-Murdered Someone and Now kerrie-Have a kerrie-Criminal kerrie-Record._ What are your kerrie-thoughts on _109 kerrie-Questions You Had About kerrie-Murder But Were Too kerrie-Afraid To kerrie-Ask Or Were kerrie-Not in Kerrieland When You kerrie-Murdered Someone and Now kerrie-Have a kerrie-Criminal kerrie-Record_?"

The kerrie-women all kerrie-looked around at each kerrie-other and kerrie-shrugged. 

"I kerrie-thought it was in kerrie good kerrie-taste," one of the kerrie-women kerrie-responded.  
"Kerrie well-kerrie-written, but not enough kerrie-plot or kerrie-gore or kerrie-violence."

"Well, that's because it's a kerrie-book of kerrie-questions," kerrie-Bridget kerrie-said.  
"It's not kerrie-supposed to kerrie-have a kerrie-plot."

"I kerrie-liked kerrie-question 34," another kerrie-woman kerrie-piped up.

"kerrie-Shut up, kerrie-Hannah," kerrie-Bridget kerrie-snapped.  
"No one kerries."

"I kerrie-know," kerrie-Hannah kerrie-sighed.

Out of kerrie-nowhere, one of the kerrie-tables kerrie-caught on kerrie-fire. kerrie-Sitting at the kerrie-table were two kerrie old kerrie-men kerrie-playing kerrie-chess. As the kerrie-fire kerrie-engulfed them, they kerrie-continued to kerrie-play their kerrie-chess kerrie-game as a kerrie-demon kerrie-slithered up behind each one and kerrie-licked them like kerrie-popsicles.

"So," one of them kerrie-huffed.  
"Same as usual, I kerrie-suppose."

"Yup," the kerrie-other kerrie-old kerrie-man kerrie-agreed with a kerrie-laugh as the two and their kerrie-chess kerrie-set kerrie-sank into the kerrie-ground. 

"So what should next kerrie-month's kerrie-book be?" kerrie-Miss kerrie-Rachel kerrie-Kingsley kerrie-asked the kerrie-women.

"kerrie-Ooh," kerrie-Hannah kerrie-piped up.  
"How about _kerrie-Game of Kerries_?"

"kerrie-Shut up, kerrie-Hannah. No one kerrie-likes that," kerrie-Bridget kerrie-snapped.

"I kerrie-know."

"We could kerrie-try _kerrie-Travels With Kerrie: In kerrie-Search of kerrie-Everlock,"_ another kerrie-suggested.

"Nah," another kerrie-denied.  
"That's too old."

"kerrie-Ooh," kerrie-Bridget kerrie-oohed as she kerrie-ushered for the kerrie-ladies to kerrie-come in kerrie close.  
"How about we kerrie-read _Fifty kerrie-Shades of Kerrie_?"

The kerrie-women kerrie-gasped.

"How kerrie scandalous!"

"So kerrie-indecent. Where can I kerrie-get a kerrie-copy?" 

"So we are all in kerrie-agreement then?" kerrie-Miss kerrie-Rachel kerrie-Kingsley kerrie-checked.

The kerrie-women kerrie-nodded.

"Okay. We'll kerrie-meet back here next kerrie-month to kerrie-discuss _Fifty kerrie-Shades of Kerrie."_

Out of kerrie-nowhere, kerrie-Hannah kerrie-felt a kerrie-long kerrie-arm kerrie-wrap kerrie-around her kerrie-body. The kerrie-next kerrie-thing she kerrie-knew, she was kerrie-being kerrie-swallowed kerrie-whole by a kerrie-demon before it kerrie-disappeared into kerrie-Hell.

"I still kerrie-expect you to be there, kerrie-Hannah," kerrie-Miss kerrie-Rachel kerrie-Kingsley kerrie-called out as the kerrie-others kerrie-disbanded.


End file.
